Soothe Yourself

Self-soothing is the process of taking immediate actions to help you feel better in this exact moment. It addresses your physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional needs to help you reduce everyday stresses, quiet the noise around you, and regain a sense of calm. Whether you just got bad news, feel anxiety creeping in, or are overstimulated after being in a loud group, it’s important to learn self-soothing techniques that you can call upon to restore your physical and emotional health.

 

Self-soothing empowers you to take control of your situation and give your body what it needs in the moment. The activities that soothe you are unique to you and your personality—whether it’s taking a walk in nature or re-reading your favorite childhood book. When you find what works for you, assemble your own tool box of self-soothing techniques. Here are three you can try.

 

Deliberate breathing can help fight stress both in the moment and over time. It can be soothing because it allows you to feel more in harmony with your body instead of like you’re fighting it as you deal with shallow breathing and tense muscles.

 

Start by sitting in a comfortable spot and relaxing your body. If that means leaning back on a sofa or even lying down in bed, that’s perfectly fine.

 

Now start observing your breathing. Notice how your body naturally moves when you breathe. Observe how your chest moves and how your belly rises and falls. Notice how breathing is affecting your body.

 

Now prepare to breathe more deliberately. Count to five or six as you inhale, then exhale to the count of five or six. Do this a few times in a row. Observe whether doing so changes anything in how your body is reacting. Then rest your body and try to relax your mind for a minute.

 

Now start again, inhaling for five seconds and then exhaling for five seconds. Try to continue deep breathing for at least a couple of minutes.

 

You probably see mirrors every day, but have you ever thought of them as a self-soothing tool? This activity might change your mind.

 

Clear a space in front of the largest mirror in your home. Now stand or sit in front of your mirror. Close your eyes for a few seconds, then open your eyes and look directly into your eyes. Try to look at them with pure self-love. If any criticisms come to mind, replace them with loving compliments.

 

Think of three positive adjectives that describe your eyes. Now look at your nose and mouth, then also think of adjectives that describe what you love the most about these features.

 

Turn to your side and look in the mirror. Now turn to the other side and look at your reflection. Turn with your back to the mirror, then look back at your reflection.

 

With every glance and movement, let loving compliments flood and soothe your mind.

 

Most of us only head out when we have somewhere to be at a certain time. That sort of scheduled, rushed travel is not usually relaxing. For this exercise, reintroduce a calm vibe to your travel by taking an hour or longer to wander around and appreciate what you see around you. This is more about a spiritual adventure than going somewhere for a reason. You may choose to wander in a busy downtown area, a mall that’s great for people-watching, a quiet park, or a nearby beach. Any place that delights you will work. Bring along a journal to record some observations.

 

As you begin your wandering adventure, turn off your phone and other devices and place them in a pocket or bag, out of sight (and mind). As you wander, try to see the beauty and the wonder in all the things around you. Look at the world around you with rose-colored glasses. If you don’t do this naturally, fake it for the moment.

 

Walk wherever you feel like going within the area you’ve chosen. After an hour or so, stop and write down all the wonderful things that came to your mind. Reflect on what you found most soothing and calming.

 

These exercises and ideas will remind you to check in with your body and feelings during difficult moments and help you to face life’s ups and downs with confidence, composure, and grace.